I understood, a long time ago, that to say to a person when she or he says something, shares a feeling, a frustration, an information, is comforting, to whom is talking listen: “I know what you’re feeling”, often I say this based on a personal experience, or lived by a close person. I would like to share that, demonstrating, I understood the situation, always brings calm and serenity to a moment of tension, I do it in a sincere and natural way, without protocols. It’s good!
Even though the calm and serenity is only on my side.
Following the rules of common sense: first listen, This is easy, at least for me. However, to say that I understand, this is the part of common sense, where to “feel the pain of the pepper in the eyes of the other”, makes sense. I know I am repeating myself, but living in a world so different and physically far from my people, made me realize, how important it is to say and demonstrate to the other person, I understand, I know what you are feeling. This, listening, listening and listening has helped me, in many situations where there are, during those 52 years, I am convinced that my intention is positive, that the message I have communicated will bring something good. For example, I might be talking about following the law, one of Jesus’ teachings, things like that. And at that very moment, my interlocutor clearly demonstrates that he or she is not understanding what I say.
A long time ago, it was not easy, now, I know it is part of a process and as a result, every day more frustrates me less, to see that the other person is not understanding, but I am !!!
I’m listening, right?
I have learned that understanding is different from accepting or believing, or supporting an idea, and this understanding is helping me to navigate at times, where common sense has been lost, but understanding, could be the way to return to common sense.